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the-gneech:

jackthevulture:

polyglotplatypus:

It’s like watching a car repeatedly drive straight into a wall. It’s unexplainable, it looks like it hurts a lot, but ultimately it ends up being darkly, ironically funny.

From my personal experience being an American on tumblr is like being the person in the BACK of the car praying that the person driving will STOP ramming into the wall.

A lot of us know this shit is stupid and we’re looking out the window like “LOOK THOSE OTHER CARS ARE DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD LETS BE LIKE THEM”

But the driver is like “FUCK YOU! BUILT FORD TOUGH! USA USA USA DONT LIKE IT, GET OUT!” but the doors are locked and the car is now smoking and threatening to catch fire.

Reblogging for the followup comment! ‘cos that’s exactly what it’s like.

(via hawke-n-roll)

May 04, 2016

HOW WAS SPY KIDS 3 A MOVIE

stinkyhat:

dilapidatedragamuffin:

Can we talk about Spy Kids 3 for a second because it’s just the MOST BAFFLING CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE EVER

First we open to LITTLE BABY SELENA GOMEZ

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THE PRESIDENT IS GEORGE CLOONEY?

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Later we see Juni’s grandpa who is KHAN??

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who spends the whole movie chasing a butterfly

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THE VILLAIN IS SYLVESTER STALLONE

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WHO GETS VILLAIN ADVICE FROM THREE OTHER SYLVESTER STALLONES

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ELIJAH WOOD SHOWS UP

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ONLY TO DIE IN THE NEXT SCENE

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Then we find out that the president was actually the villain the whole time which makes ZERO SENSE but leads to this glorious George Clooney Sylvester Stallone impression

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Then we get Antonio Banderas doing this?

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AND THEIR UNCLE WHO IS STILL MACHETE

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AND THEN STEVE BUSCEMI SHOWS UP ON A FLYING PIG FOR NO REASON

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HOW WAS THIS A MOVIE???

steve buscemi shows up on a flying pig because he was a character in the Spy Kids 2 & wanted to help out his friends. please read up on spy kids lore before saying ignorant shit like this.

(via hawke-n-roll)

May 04, 2016

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